The only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did. Soon, the only people who attended were those who never asked questions, and the sessions were discontinued altogether, since the corporals agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.

'Opportunity only knocks once in this world' he would say. He repeated this good joke at every opportunity.

There were billions of conscientious body cells oxidating away day and night like dumb animals at their complicated job of keeping him alive and healthy, and every one was a potential traitor and foe. There were so many diseases that it took a truly diseased mind to think about them as often as he did.

He could start screaming inside a hospital and people would at least come running to try to help; outside the hospital they would throw him in prison if he ever started screaming about all the things he felt everyone ought to start screaming about, or they would put him in the hospital.

He believed all the news he heard and had faith in none. He was someone in the know who was always striving pathetically to find out what was going on.

To be happy, it's not necessary to expend great effort so we get somewhere else
Instead, relax into the present moment while finding humor in your life
With humor, life becomes light and leisurely.
And laughter always brings people to experience openness and joy.

Humor opens closed hearts.
Humor can free us from the grip of our thoughts.
When we smile, we feel we can accept things we
previously could not.
We feel we can forgive those who have wronged us.
Humor is an essential part of life.

Good-humor is a philosophic state of mind; it seems to say to Nature that we take her no more seriously than she takes us. I maintain that one should always talk of philosophy with a smile. We owe it to the Eternal to be virtuous; but we have the right to add to this tribute our irony as a sort of personal reprisal. In this way we return to the right quarter jest for jest; we play the trick that has been played on us.